Intention
Aug 26th, 2006 by Michael Max
I’d been dreaming it, hoping it, wishing it. That this fall I’d go back and drop myself into the swirl of life in China. Go this time, not as a pilgrim, but as a doctor with his feet firmly planted here in the USA. Tethered like a kite aloft, able to glide on the winds, but with a base that holds me firm. I’ve never been to Asia this way. Every time before, I was like a leaf in the wind.
Trusting that release, and reduced gravity would bring me lessons and luminosity.
This time is different, it is not that I leave on the heels of a life that dissolved, as marriage and home finally ground themselves into dust. This time life is solid. There is a business, a thriving practice, leases and obligations. Responsibilities in wide overlapping networks of connections.
I’d been wishing, dreaming, and hoping. Then one day about a month ago…
I decided.
Noticed in between one thought and another that I’d been wishing, but I had not decided. I had been hoping and playing that game of “oracle” with life. Perhaps you know the one, the one were you are silently asking the Universe for a “sign”. The one where you are trying to make a deal with God. If thus and such happens, then I will do what I want. For some odd reason, I stopped looking for permission, threw away the list of conditions that I’d harbored as confirmations, and as easy as exhaling said “I’m going”.
“I’m going”. It was a declaration. It did not at all change the long list of unchecked to-do’s that needed to happen before I left. And it did not change that I had no idea HOW I was going be able to manage my life of responsibilities for two months while in China. All that changed was that I WAS GOING TO CHINA.
Now, some people say that when you set a strong intention, it sets up a ripple, a call, the fabric of the universe changes and life itself will conspire to assist you. I suspect in some ways this is indeed true. I have, however, also noticed that what happens is suddenly there is a long “to-do” list that is written down. There is less dreaming, and more action. Less hoping, and more taking the risk to do something and find out if it works. Or not. Opportunities take on a clear shimmer. You know where to put your energy when you have both a deadline and a direction!
And yes, the universe does at times shower you with unexpected gifts. I suspect it is not just a matter of deciding something and then waiting for the universe to transform it’s shape into something you want. I suspect it is more like creating a new habit, you do a lot of work, spend energy stopping one way of being, as you chisel out new reflexes and ways of moving in the world. Then at a certain point, those hard won new behaviors gather a momentum. And blossom into your experience with ease and familiarity.
I have a hunch that this is truly what creation is about. It is not about noticing that something has come into being, and then claiming it. It is about calling it forth, and then making it so.